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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Ah. Young "Love"

I have the pleasure of being in a Family Living class this year. It’s a class of roughly 20 girls, and we discuss all sorts of fun stuff: dating, kids, marriage. In fact, we’re planning our weddings right now ;)
While in this class, I’ve had quite the opportunity to learn what my fellow girls think…and let me say: I think I was born in the wrong generation.
There have been many days where I’ve sat at my desk with looks on my face that I’m sure thoroughly amused the teacher. See, this is a class of discussion. And as I mentioned, we talk about dating and marriage. Ah. What lovely ideas current teenage girls have.
For example. One day, we did this little “Yes or No” worksheet about dating and marriage. Afterwards the teacher read the question aloud; whoever answered with “no” was to raise their hand. One of the questions was “Would you live with your significant other before you were married?”, and to my surprise, I was the only one in the class who raised her hand, indicating that I’d said no. Although, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.
During the past six months of hearing the opinions of these girls, I’ve learned some…interesting things. That apparently, the whole purpose of dating is basically to test the waters; see what you like and don’t like. That its expected for you to just jump into a relationship; if you like each other, you’re immediately “boyfriend and girlfriend”. That even though you know the relationship will never go anywhere, you should go out with the guy anyway: it’s fun. That every one of those girls expects to live with their fiancées before they’re married. Oh, and not to mention: texting has been mentioned all too often.
Um. Yeah. I’m actually kind of in a constant state of bewilderment during these lovely discussions.
See, I grew up with my two aunts, Emily and Abby. A good twelve and thirteen years older than me, I was the cute little baby doll they got to play with. And they were the two older girls that I always wanted to be with. To this day they’re still my closest friends :) Either way, growing up, I was forced to watch all of the romantic movies and shows that they loved: Anne of Green Gables, Christy, lots of stuff. But one main factor: the guy always chased after the girl, not the other way around. There was no texting to get your relationships started (and ended for that matter). There was always a foundation of friendship in relationships.
I can’t help but be baffled by teenage relationships just in general. Walking through the halls of high school, there are couples everywhere. My immediate reaction is always “hmm. I wonder how long they’ll last”. Usually, its just a couple of weeks. Then both people have magically moved on, and have new boyfriends and girlfriends within about a week. Ah. How romantic.
Another thing that never ceases to bother me: texting. I know plenty of girls who conduct entire relationships over texting. For example: not too long ago, a friend and I were talking about this guy who she was texting (and when you say that you‘re “texting“ someone, it’s the equivalent of saying that you‘re seeing someone). I said “Why don’t you just call him, and actually talk to him?” By her reaction, you’d have thought that I asked her to amputate her right leg or some other awful thing…
I’ve never quite understood the idea of dating someone that you know you don’t want to marry… what’s the point? For me, I see dating as a path to marriage. Considering that I’m only 17, and still a junior in high school, I have no desire to date anybody. Obviously, I can’t get married right now (ha!). Therefore, as I’ve said, what exactly is the point? Oh, that’s right. It’s “fun”.
There are girls in my school who, no joke, have had at least 8 boyfriends by now. I mean, hey, 4 years of high school is a long time. You switch guys every other month, and well…actually. You’d have a lot more than 8. Ha.
For me, I believe that friendship is the way to go. I think that if you like someone, sure. Get to know them better. But I think its so much smarter to do it as friends. There’s less pressure, less stress: no “are they gonna break up with me??” moments. You can have a REAL relationship with the guy, not one that has all of the expectations that come with dating.
I am a firm believer in the idea that everyone has a soul mate. I truly believe that God has that one guy for me, and I’m willing to wait for him. I don’t want to go through a ton of other guys before I find him. In fact, my future husband is already such a big part of my life; he’s a factor in my decisions, and my values. Yes, even though I don’t know him yet :). Therefore, I do make a conscious effort not to be randomly giving pieces of my heart away to any guy that wants it…which is something that I see all too often among my friends and other girls in my school. I genuinely hope that I’ll be able to look into my husband’s eyes someday and say “I waited for you”. There’s a saying I saw once on a Facebook bumper sticker (of course), and I absolutely LOVE it: “When I’m older and my daughter asks me who my first love was, I don’t want to have to pull out the old photo album; I want to be able to point across the room and say “He’s sitting right over there.”
PS: please excuse my word vomit. And yes, I did just use that expression. Although its more of “thought” vomit… :)


Elmo said...

omg twin.. i agree on levels with you loll. i will totally bring that movie in for you and you have to watch it.. aww mr darcy.. love him