Light up the Darkness

Dear Pastor “….”,
Well, my purpose for messaging you is that I wanted to tell you about the past couple of days in my life. During your sermon on Sunday, I found myself feeling very convicted...you see, for the past few years, I have been one of those teenage girls who was crazed about Twilight, and any book even remotely like it. For the past few months, I've been working to get closer to God: i've been praying and reading my Bible more than I ever have before, and I've really been feeling His presence in my life. And for a while now, i've just been ignoring just how much I was into those kinds of things: vampires, werewolves, the works. I've just ignored it, told myself "I don't believe in it, so its ok". But this past Sunday, I truly believe i felt God speaking to me, telling me that i need to not have those things in my life; that they were taking away from what i could have with Him. So, after i got home, i went though my bookshelves, filled some boxes. The next day after i got home from school, Emily and I went out to the backyard and had ourselves a little bonfire (don't worry, we were careful about it). She got rid of the few things that she felt weren't right, and i burned a total of 71 books. :) at first i thought, "why not just throw them away?" but then Emily and I both realized, why allow them to get into the hands of someone else? I told a friend about how we did this and she responded with "you do realize that you burned like, hundreds of dollars worth of books, don't you?" i simply nodded and smiled, and explained how i wasn't worried about the money at all....money is so...insignificant in the big scheme of things. i know that i did the right thing, and i must say: its an extremely refreshing feeling to know that those things; those somewhat simple items that really do send whispers of darkness into the minds of all who read them, whether those people realize it or not; those things no longer have a place in my life. Or at least not a place that i'm willing to give them.
I wanted to share this with you, and just let you know that God has truly been working in my life these past few months, and i'm so thankful for it. :)
-Lauren

This is a letter I sent to the pastor of our church just a few weeks ago. Basically, it’s a response to the sermon he’d preached earlier that week on “God in the Home”. He had a list of 7 things that hinder God in your home…somewhere down the list was the phrase “Occult Practices”; in the description of this point was “books and movies that glorify” the things that pertain to the occult: vampires, witchcraft, werewolves, etc… I believe you know where this is going ;). So, here are my thoughts on all of this; and a bit of further explanation:

Vampires, werewolves, zombies, witches…these things just don’t fit into the same picture as Jesus Christ. No. Not even Edward and Bella. I know! Le gasp! “But Edward’s a good vampire! He hates himself just for being a vampire!” Yes. And hey, kudos to him for that. I’m not being anti-Edward. I’m being anti-vampire. Twilight is a huge abnormality when it comes to the vampire image. In fact, I don’t know that I can think of any other story with a vampire whose goodness compares to that of Edward Cullen. No, besides this sparkly Romeo, every other image of a vampire that pops into my head (and unfortunately, there are far too many of these images) is just…horrible. When Twilight is taken out of the equation, the romance and happy moments disappear; all that’s left are images of darkness, the crimson red of blood, terrible ear-piercing screams…
I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have these…lovely…things in my head if not for Twilight. I know, I know: “But Twilight has none of that!” No, it doesn’t. But to a 13 year old girl, it makes the whole idea of vampires seem glamorous: beauty that lasts forever, love that literally lasts for all of eternity…. For me, Twlight led to other things. Movies, books. Anne Rice, for example. Ah. Anne Rice. I actually still, to this day, get nauseous when I think back on reading The Vampire Lestat, which thankfully is the only Anne Rice novel I’ve read; I still feel disturbed by it today, 3 years after reading it.
Twilight began my own personal fascination with books that were based around anything occult-like; before Twilight, I was strictly a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants girl. But alas, at that 7th grade book-fair, the book with the somewhat odd cover made its way into my hands…thus beginning my journey of the next few years through dozens and dozens of books that really did nothing good for me.
What’s the point of this big rant about Twilight, you ask? Well, Twilight seems to be the one book that no one understands why I’d get rid of it. Well. As silly as it sounds, I can honestly look back and see for myself that that one single book has had a nice little impact on my life. And no. Not in a good way. My including Twilight and the rest of its series in that burnpile that day is really more of a symbolic thing for me, rather than an “I hate you Edward Cullen!! BURN!!!” thing. It’s me saying, “This is the best way I can think of to show that I really am letting go of this stuff: by getting rid of the real main source of it all. I’m ready.”
Ready for what? Ready to turn my eyes, my mind, my heart from these bits of darkness, however small they might’ve been, and give my all to focusing on my Lord and Savior. Yes, we may have been the ones flicking the switch on the lighter that day, but it was all for Him, and all orchestrated by Him.
We are to be lights in the darkness, not participants in it. Vampires, werewolves, all of these things….they are not things from God. I mean, obviously. There is no place for them in a heart that belongs to Christ; there is no longer a place for them in my life. I’m walking on sunshine now, baby ;)

“The Voice of Truth says THIS is for my glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth” –Casting Crowns

Ah. Young "Love"

I have the pleasure of being in a Family Living class this year. It’s a class of roughly 20 girls, and we discuss all sorts of fun stuff: dating, kids, marriage. In fact, we’re planning our weddings right now ;)
While in this class, I’ve had quite the opportunity to learn what my fellow girls think…and let me say: I think I was born in the wrong generation.
There have been many days where I’ve sat at my desk with looks on my face that I’m sure thoroughly amused the teacher. See, this is a class of discussion. And as I mentioned, we talk about dating and marriage. Ah. What lovely ideas current teenage girls have.
For example. One day, we did this little “Yes or No” worksheet about dating and marriage. Afterwards the teacher read the question aloud; whoever answered with “no” was to raise their hand. One of the questions was “Would you live with your significant other before you were married?”, and to my surprise, I was the only one in the class who raised her hand, indicating that I’d said no. Although, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.
During the past six months of hearing the opinions of these girls, I’ve learned some…interesting things. That apparently, the whole purpose of dating is basically to test the waters; see what you like and don’t like. That its expected for you to just jump into a relationship; if you like each other, you’re immediately “boyfriend and girlfriend”. That even though you know the relationship will never go anywhere, you should go out with the guy anyway: it’s fun. That every one of those girls expects to live with their fiancées before they’re married. Oh, and not to mention: texting has been mentioned all too often.
Um. Yeah. I’m actually kind of in a constant state of bewilderment during these lovely discussions.
See, I grew up with my two aunts, Emily and Abby. A good twelve and thirteen years older than me, I was the cute little baby doll they got to play with. And they were the two older girls that I always wanted to be with. To this day they’re still my closest friends :) Either way, growing up, I was forced to watch all of the romantic movies and shows that they loved: Anne of Green Gables, Christy, lots of stuff. But one main factor: the guy always chased after the girl, not the other way around. There was no texting to get your relationships started (and ended for that matter). There was always a foundation of friendship in relationships.
I can’t help but be baffled by teenage relationships just in general. Walking through the halls of high school, there are couples everywhere. My immediate reaction is always “hmm. I wonder how long they’ll last”. Usually, its just a couple of weeks. Then both people have magically moved on, and have new boyfriends and girlfriends within about a week. Ah. How romantic.
Another thing that never ceases to bother me: texting. I know plenty of girls who conduct entire relationships over texting. For example: not too long ago, a friend and I were talking about this guy who she was texting (and when you say that you‘re “texting“ someone, it’s the equivalent of saying that you‘re seeing someone). I said “Why don’t you just call him, and actually talk to him?” By her reaction, you’d have thought that I asked her to amputate her right leg or some other awful thing…
I’ve never quite understood the idea of dating someone that you know you don’t want to marry… what’s the point? For me, I see dating as a path to marriage. Considering that I’m only 17, and still a junior in high school, I have no desire to date anybody. Obviously, I can’t get married right now (ha!). Therefore, as I’ve said, what exactly is the point? Oh, that’s right. It’s “fun”.
There are girls in my school who, no joke, have had at least 8 boyfriends by now. I mean, hey, 4 years of high school is a long time. You switch guys every other month, and well…actually. You’d have a lot more than 8. Ha.
For me, I believe that friendship is the way to go. I think that if you like someone, sure. Get to know them better. But I think its so much smarter to do it as friends. There’s less pressure, less stress: no “are they gonna break up with me??” moments. You can have a REAL relationship with the guy, not one that has all of the expectations that come with dating.
I am a firm believer in the idea that everyone has a soul mate. I truly believe that God has that one guy for me, and I’m willing to wait for him. I don’t want to go through a ton of other guys before I find him. In fact, my future husband is already such a big part of my life; he’s a factor in my decisions, and my values. Yes, even though I don’t know him yet :). Therefore, I do make a conscious effort not to be randomly giving pieces of my heart away to any guy that wants it…which is something that I see all too often among my friends and other girls in my school. I genuinely hope that I’ll be able to look into my husband’s eyes someday and say “I waited for you”. There’s a saying I saw once on a Facebook bumper sticker (of course), and I absolutely LOVE it: “When I’m older and my daughter asks me who my first love was, I don’t want to have to pull out the old photo album; I want to be able to point across the room and say “He’s sitting right over there.”
PS: please excuse my word vomit. And yes, I did just use that expression. Although its more of “thought” vomit… :)