A New Blog!

Yep. Obviously, I've pretty much forgotten all about this blog.
In fact, I started a new one a while back :o
So here's the link:
http://avoiceofpraise.blogspot.com/

So there 'tis. I'll probably delete THIS blog prettty soon. So yeah!
;)

oh, to be a child...

It's funny...looking at a child and thinking "Wow. Her world is so...small." It's an odd feeling to be in a room with your 8-year old sister, tears streaming down both your faces: hers as a result of being forced to go sit at a "boring" mother-daughter banquet for 3 hours; yours as a result of reading the comments on a friend's Facebook page, each one saying "I'm so sorry for your loss." How very different are the sources of tears between an 8-year old and a 17-year old...While the main thought on her mind is "I don't wanna!!", the one stuck with me is "Why? Why them?". She's seeing the image of herself sitting angrily at a table for 3 hours; I'm seeing a father have his first and last dance with his baby girl. She's hearing the sounds of old women singing terrible music all night; I'm hearing the sound of a mother sing one last song to her child. She's angry at my parents for making her go, while I'm finding myself completely confused. A tiny bit angry...but completely unable to understand. I'm just unable to see what good could come out of taking a child away from her parents: parents who love and live for God, and would've raised their little girl to love and live for Him. I'm just failing to understand at this moment in time, and perhaps never will. I just know that my heart has never been this broken, not for myself, and not for anyone else...but for now, I'm doing what I've learned to do: praising God, and trusting Him; trusting that He will bring beauty from ashes.

just a few of the things that make life better :D

~Rainbows after a spring rain
~Giggling!!
~Gazing at the awesomeness of the night sky
~Christian concerts!
~Thoughts of graduation…mmm
~The feeling of getting into a heated car in the middle of winter
~Sitting on the beach listening to the waves crash onto the sand
~Super-late night conversations
~Laughing so hard it hurts
~The little moments of warmth from the sunshine on a breezy day
~Sitting in a hammock swing with a good book on a sunny afternoon ;)
~The sound of waterfalls
~Inside jokes!
~MR PERSCH!! (refer to last)
~When someone plays with your hair :D
~Cotton candy skies
~Finding money in your pockets
~Packing your bags to go somewhere exciting
~Jesus music!
~Singing insanely loud and ridiculously in the car
~Cherished memories that you wouldn’t trade for anything
~Bare feet on grass :)
~That nervy “I’m gonna puke” feeling. The good version!! Hahha
~Laying on the trampoline (safe, away from bugs), looking at the stars
~Pugs!
~British accents. Awe yeah.
~Screaming and laughing hysterically when bats decide to take a sip of the pool at night
~Dreams you don’t want to wake up from
~Making forts out of blankets and pillows :D
~The way Forrest says "Jenny"
~“As you wish”
~Chocolate cereal! Duh
~Pushing the little buttons on a soft drink lid
~Orange Tic-Tacs…
~Biting the heads off of animal-shaped food. Heh heh
~Popping bubble-wrap!
~That feeling of accomplishment you get when you’ve just carried something really heavy (despite the immense physical pain you’re now in)
~Boys with blue eyes ;)
~Blue eyes in general…
~Putting olives on your fingers and eating them one by one!
~Disney princes :D
~When someone gives you a nickname you actually like
~Waking up in a good mood
~Google!
~The 24-pack of Sharpies :D
~Fireworks
~Knowing you’ll see him again someday
~Blankets that just came out of the dryer!
~“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird…”
~Seeing someone you’ve missed
~Making shapes out of clouds
~Mark Hall’s voice. Don’t know what it sounds like? Look it up :D
~LAUGHTER!!!
~Love songs :)
~Big brothers; both biological and not ;)
~Watching the world come back to life after a long winter
~Handwritten letters
~Crayons!
~Newborn puppies. Newborn babies. Newborn kittens. Newborn anything! But not bugs. No, never bugs.
~Harmonizing
~Guys that will sing to you!! ;)
~Blowing bubbles
~The smell of fresh cut grass
~Catching lightning bugs
~The moment you realize you’re OLDER than some of the American Idol contestants?!?!
~Thunderstorms
~Talking animals. Heh heh
~Irish accents
~“Don’t let the balloon touch the ground!!”
~Seeing an old couple holding hands
~That feeling when you wake up, and the horrible, horrible sunburn you had doesn’t hurt anymore. Ah.
~The feel of a really smooth pen on paper
~Discovering new music
~Getting woken up in spring by birds singing :)
~Getting to know another person’s tones of voice, facial expressions, mannerisms…
~Burnt marshmallows!!
~Songs that tell a story
~Being home alone and belting out random songs as you walk throughout the house
~Chocolate-covered strawberries
~Singing for Jesus :D
~Cuddlecoon! ;)
~Spontaneously, yet casually, jumping into the pool at night when you’re already in your pj’s :D
~Purple pen ink
~Competitive Easter egg hunting. Heh heh
~The smell of books!
~Laughter through tears
~The way the sky is a million colors when the sun is setting
~The one-eyebrow lift :D
~Those moments in the middle of the night when EVERYTHING is hysterically funny
~Holding a newborn baby
~Those nights when the moon is so bright, you can literally see everything
~Happy endings ;)

(This list is mostly my own with a little help from some friends here and there. Enjoy!)

Light up the Darkness

Dear Pastor “….”,
Well, my purpose for messaging you is that I wanted to tell you about the past couple of days in my life. During your sermon on Sunday, I found myself feeling very convicted...you see, for the past few years, I have been one of those teenage girls who was crazed about Twilight, and any book even remotely like it. For the past few months, I've been working to get closer to God: i've been praying and reading my Bible more than I ever have before, and I've really been feeling His presence in my life. And for a while now, i've just been ignoring just how much I was into those kinds of things: vampires, werewolves, the works. I've just ignored it, told myself "I don't believe in it, so its ok". But this past Sunday, I truly believe i felt God speaking to me, telling me that i need to not have those things in my life; that they were taking away from what i could have with Him. So, after i got home, i went though my bookshelves, filled some boxes. The next day after i got home from school, Emily and I went out to the backyard and had ourselves a little bonfire (don't worry, we were careful about it). She got rid of the few things that she felt weren't right, and i burned a total of 71 books. :) at first i thought, "why not just throw them away?" but then Emily and I both realized, why allow them to get into the hands of someone else? I told a friend about how we did this and she responded with "you do realize that you burned like, hundreds of dollars worth of books, don't you?" i simply nodded and smiled, and explained how i wasn't worried about the money at all....money is so...insignificant in the big scheme of things. i know that i did the right thing, and i must say: its an extremely refreshing feeling to know that those things; those somewhat simple items that really do send whispers of darkness into the minds of all who read them, whether those people realize it or not; those things no longer have a place in my life. Or at least not a place that i'm willing to give them.
I wanted to share this with you, and just let you know that God has truly been working in my life these past few months, and i'm so thankful for it. :)
-Lauren

This is a letter I sent to the pastor of our church just a few weeks ago. Basically, it’s a response to the sermon he’d preached earlier that week on “God in the Home”. He had a list of 7 things that hinder God in your home…somewhere down the list was the phrase “Occult Practices”; in the description of this point was “books and movies that glorify” the things that pertain to the occult: vampires, witchcraft, werewolves, etc… I believe you know where this is going ;). So, here are my thoughts on all of this; and a bit of further explanation:

Vampires, werewolves, zombies, witches…these things just don’t fit into the same picture as Jesus Christ. No. Not even Edward and Bella. I know! Le gasp! “But Edward’s a good vampire! He hates himself just for being a vampire!” Yes. And hey, kudos to him for that. I’m not being anti-Edward. I’m being anti-vampire. Twilight is a huge abnormality when it comes to the vampire image. In fact, I don’t know that I can think of any other story with a vampire whose goodness compares to that of Edward Cullen. No, besides this sparkly Romeo, every other image of a vampire that pops into my head (and unfortunately, there are far too many of these images) is just…horrible. When Twilight is taken out of the equation, the romance and happy moments disappear; all that’s left are images of darkness, the crimson red of blood, terrible ear-piercing screams…
I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have these…lovely…things in my head if not for Twilight. I know, I know: “But Twilight has none of that!” No, it doesn’t. But to a 13 year old girl, it makes the whole idea of vampires seem glamorous: beauty that lasts forever, love that literally lasts for all of eternity…. For me, Twlight led to other things. Movies, books. Anne Rice, for example. Ah. Anne Rice. I actually still, to this day, get nauseous when I think back on reading The Vampire Lestat, which thankfully is the only Anne Rice novel I’ve read; I still feel disturbed by it today, 3 years after reading it.
Twilight began my own personal fascination with books that were based around anything occult-like; before Twilight, I was strictly a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants girl. But alas, at that 7th grade book-fair, the book with the somewhat odd cover made its way into my hands…thus beginning my journey of the next few years through dozens and dozens of books that really did nothing good for me.
What’s the point of this big rant about Twilight, you ask? Well, Twilight seems to be the one book that no one understands why I’d get rid of it. Well. As silly as it sounds, I can honestly look back and see for myself that that one single book has had a nice little impact on my life. And no. Not in a good way. My including Twilight and the rest of its series in that burnpile that day is really more of a symbolic thing for me, rather than an “I hate you Edward Cullen!! BURN!!!” thing. It’s me saying, “This is the best way I can think of to show that I really am letting go of this stuff: by getting rid of the real main source of it all. I’m ready.”
Ready for what? Ready to turn my eyes, my mind, my heart from these bits of darkness, however small they might’ve been, and give my all to focusing on my Lord and Savior. Yes, we may have been the ones flicking the switch on the lighter that day, but it was all for Him, and all orchestrated by Him.
We are to be lights in the darkness, not participants in it. Vampires, werewolves, all of these things….they are not things from God. I mean, obviously. There is no place for them in a heart that belongs to Christ; there is no longer a place for them in my life. I’m walking on sunshine now, baby ;)

“The Voice of Truth says THIS is for my glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth” –Casting Crowns

Ah. Young "Love"

I have the pleasure of being in a Family Living class this year. It’s a class of roughly 20 girls, and we discuss all sorts of fun stuff: dating, kids, marriage. In fact, we’re planning our weddings right now ;)
While in this class, I’ve had quite the opportunity to learn what my fellow girls think…and let me say: I think I was born in the wrong generation.
There have been many days where I’ve sat at my desk with looks on my face that I’m sure thoroughly amused the teacher. See, this is a class of discussion. And as I mentioned, we talk about dating and marriage. Ah. What lovely ideas current teenage girls have.
For example. One day, we did this little “Yes or No” worksheet about dating and marriage. Afterwards the teacher read the question aloud; whoever answered with “no” was to raise their hand. One of the questions was “Would you live with your significant other before you were married?”, and to my surprise, I was the only one in the class who raised her hand, indicating that I’d said no. Although, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.
During the past six months of hearing the opinions of these girls, I’ve learned some…interesting things. That apparently, the whole purpose of dating is basically to test the waters; see what you like and don’t like. That its expected for you to just jump into a relationship; if you like each other, you’re immediately “boyfriend and girlfriend”. That even though you know the relationship will never go anywhere, you should go out with the guy anyway: it’s fun. That every one of those girls expects to live with their fiancées before they’re married. Oh, and not to mention: texting has been mentioned all too often.
Um. Yeah. I’m actually kind of in a constant state of bewilderment during these lovely discussions.
See, I grew up with my two aunts, Emily and Abby. A good twelve and thirteen years older than me, I was the cute little baby doll they got to play with. And they were the two older girls that I always wanted to be with. To this day they’re still my closest friends :) Either way, growing up, I was forced to watch all of the romantic movies and shows that they loved: Anne of Green Gables, Christy, lots of stuff. But one main factor: the guy always chased after the girl, not the other way around. There was no texting to get your relationships started (and ended for that matter). There was always a foundation of friendship in relationships.
I can’t help but be baffled by teenage relationships just in general. Walking through the halls of high school, there are couples everywhere. My immediate reaction is always “hmm. I wonder how long they’ll last”. Usually, its just a couple of weeks. Then both people have magically moved on, and have new boyfriends and girlfriends within about a week. Ah. How romantic.
Another thing that never ceases to bother me: texting. I know plenty of girls who conduct entire relationships over texting. For example: not too long ago, a friend and I were talking about this guy who she was texting (and when you say that you‘re “texting“ someone, it’s the equivalent of saying that you‘re seeing someone). I said “Why don’t you just call him, and actually talk to him?” By her reaction, you’d have thought that I asked her to amputate her right leg or some other awful thing…
I’ve never quite understood the idea of dating someone that you know you don’t want to marry… what’s the point? For me, I see dating as a path to marriage. Considering that I’m only 17, and still a junior in high school, I have no desire to date anybody. Obviously, I can’t get married right now (ha!). Therefore, as I’ve said, what exactly is the point? Oh, that’s right. It’s “fun”.
There are girls in my school who, no joke, have had at least 8 boyfriends by now. I mean, hey, 4 years of high school is a long time. You switch guys every other month, and well…actually. You’d have a lot more than 8. Ha.
For me, I believe that friendship is the way to go. I think that if you like someone, sure. Get to know them better. But I think its so much smarter to do it as friends. There’s less pressure, less stress: no “are they gonna break up with me??” moments. You can have a REAL relationship with the guy, not one that has all of the expectations that come with dating.
I am a firm believer in the idea that everyone has a soul mate. I truly believe that God has that one guy for me, and I’m willing to wait for him. I don’t want to go through a ton of other guys before I find him. In fact, my future husband is already such a big part of my life; he’s a factor in my decisions, and my values. Yes, even though I don’t know him yet :). Therefore, I do make a conscious effort not to be randomly giving pieces of my heart away to any guy that wants it…which is something that I see all too often among my friends and other girls in my school. I genuinely hope that I’ll be able to look into my husband’s eyes someday and say “I waited for you”. There’s a saying I saw once on a Facebook bumper sticker (of course), and I absolutely LOVE it: “When I’m older and my daughter asks me who my first love was, I don’t want to have to pull out the old photo album; I want to be able to point across the room and say “He’s sitting right over there.”
PS: please excuse my word vomit. And yes, I did just use that expression. Although its more of “thought” vomit… :)

A Somewhat Awkward Introduction

So…how does one go about beginning their blog exactly? By jumping right into a random topic that’s on their mind? Or with an introduction?
Well. I suppose an introduction would make sense. All right then.
Why, hello there! My name is Lauren, last name omitted ;). I’m 17 years old, almost, almost done with the torture that is high school. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! *sigh* I live in a tiny little town where the places to be are Wal-Mart and Eat’n Park. No joke. Its fun times.
My current ambitions in life? Well, first of all, pass advanced bio (and yes, that is harder than it sounds). Simply get out of high school, squealing with joy as I go. And after that? Who knows? I’m one of the few people in my grade who have no desire to go to college *gasp*. Yes, that’s right. No desire to go to college. I’m still looking forward to the little meeting I have to have with the guidance counselor about my senior schedule, and watching her face as I tell her this lovely piece of information. Hehehehee
Ok. So. Why a blog, you may ask? Actually, I’m not all that sure. They’re cute. And I really enjoyed picking out a background and all of that snazzy stuff…heh heh. No, but really. I’m starting a blog because I constantly have these random moments of like, superbly deep thoughts, which I wouldn’t mind sharing with a few people here and there.
Ha. So you remember that Facebook note, the 25 Things note, that like, everyone who has a Facebook did? Yeah. Its not a bad way to share some subtle, random little bits of getting-to-know-someone-ness. So what better way to officially kick off a start to this lovely little blog?
Well, here goes. Oh, and btw. I’m only going up to 15. Ha.
1. Hmmm, let me think…ok. So. Random fact #1: all I drink is water. It's quite literally all I drink.
2. Because of my 7th and 8th grade science teacher, I refuse to drink the last half inch of liquid that’s left in the bottle of soda, water, whatever.
3. I am constantly singing. All the time. While I’m walking up the stairs, drying my hair, walking to the kitchen, sitting on the computer. Ha. Its kindof this neverending thing. Shockingly, no one in my family seems to care. Hmmm.
4. I despise texting. Which pretty much makes me some sort of traitor I’m sure to my fellow teenagers. I just do not understand how people have relationships that consist of texting. No actual talking, no interaction, just texting. And just in general, its time consuming. What would take 30 seconds to discuss, ends up taking 10 minutes. Ridiculous.
5. I eat my m&m’s one color at a time :D
6. To say that I have no insight, and that I’m unable to understand things that are deep and thoughtful, is basically one of THE biggest insults you could send my way. And yes, indeed, this has happened. All too recently. Oh the anger….ha.
7. In fact, I have probably at least 15 notebooks randomly placed throughout my room in which I write everything down. And seriously. I write everything down.
8. Ever since I was little, while other little kids had major ambitions to be doctors, or marine biologists, or whatever…I just wanted to be a wife and mom. That hasn’t changed. J
9. I’m ready for spring. I’m sick of the snow.
10. Over the past 2 years, I have changed so much that it actually freaks me out a little bit at times.
11. I am such a little kid. In fact, I spent a good portion of my day today playing with stuffed animals with one of my friends, who’s also 17. (but in our defense, it was for a school project!)
12. At this moment in my life, I am closer to God than I have ever been before, and I’m so insanely thankful for it.
13. My kids will not have normal names. I can guarantee it.
14. I wish Stars Hollow was a real place. That would be insanely awesome.
15. The Wizard of Oz terrifies me. In fact, it makes me a little bit nauseous just to think about it. *shudder*
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end. For today. :D